Funny emails, Inspiring emails and Amazing emails.

Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday, July 5, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is …

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golfing 3.6.

Your Zodiac And The Way You Kiss

Aries: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there and then gone.
Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.
Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.

Amazing Six offspring – sextuplets..

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This email forwarded by Shraddha
You too can forward funny emails, interesting emails to info@forwardedemails.com and get it published with your name]
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1.”I’M GOING FISHING”
Means: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and Stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
2.”IT’S A GUY THING”
Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, And you have no chance at all of making it logical”.
3.”CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
4.”UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR…”
Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
5.”IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Means: “I have no idea how it works.”
6.”I WAS LISTENING …

A wonderful letter to Ex-girlfriend…Interesting…

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This email forwarded by Reshma. You too can forward funny emails, inspiring emails to i…@forwardedemails.com and get it published with your name and email]
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When a GIRL is quiet … millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing … she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions …. she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers ‘ I’m fine ‘ after a few seconds … she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When …

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither
of them wanted to
concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs the
husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

* WORDS**
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day…30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
“What?”

CREATION
A …

NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN! ;-) its really funny
 

A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends.
We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’v been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things …

Why girls don’t love software guys….?

 
:)
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This Email FWD by Dia Adtani
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[ You too can forward interesting FWD Emails to info@ForwardedEmails.com and it would be published with your name and email. ]

Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend’s apartment
overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.
Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So
the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of …

Long live Bachelors
1] Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life !!
2] Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others., -Oscra Wilde
3] Don¢â‚¬â„¢t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper., –Scottish Proverb
4] I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years., –Sam Kinison
5] Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. –H.L.Mencken
6] When a newly married couple smiles, …

SALARY CREDITED !!! BUT BE AWARE……. ..
MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GUY

Heading
First Week
Second Week
Third Week
Fourth Week

a) Bank Balance
25000
2500
250
25

b) Conveyance
Auto (“I can afford it”)
Share Auto (“I would like to share. I am selfless!”)
Bus (“Public figures should travel by public transport”)
Walk (“Good for health”)

c) Girl Friends
Eena , Meena & Tina (“I can BUY love”)
Meena &Tina (“I have enough girl friends”)
Tina (“I am loyal to her”)
“Huh! There is no pure love on earth!”

d) Mobile Maintenance
Frequent outgoing calls (“This is what mobile is …

By all Means… MARRY!
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman …

SIMPLE ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never …