Funny emails, Inspiring emails and Amazing emails.

Killing English ……
Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette… ? ”

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.
” What is your name?” was the first thing she asked the new guy.
“John ,” the new guy replied.
She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker …that’s all.
I am …

Dear
If u have a cell phone, recharge ur phone every month by performing the following process, absolutely FREE.
Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians fool.
I just got a mail from a friend of mine, whose friend is B.Tech.(ETC) from IIT Powai, teaching me how to reload my hand set every month for free (engineered by a group of rebel programmers). NOW, I am going to share this with all of you.
Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it:
It is illegal, of …

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
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LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
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YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!
An Indian discovered that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as “CON”.
This is something pretty cool…and unbelievable… At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn’t answer why this happened!
So, inform about this to all your friends. TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT, CREATE ” CON ” FOLDER
Try To rename the New Folder as CON or con it will not accept…
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This Email FWD by Riyas Bengakandy [ riyasbk-at-gmail-dot-com ]
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[ You too can forward interesting FWD Emails to info@ForwardedEmails.com and it …

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!
 Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry, they are IAS Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
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Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
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Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in …

MEN!!!!
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on thewashing machine?’
‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘ OHIO STATE ! ‘
And they say blondes are dumb….
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.’
The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you………
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‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’
Jack says as he stepped out of the …

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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This funny email …

Cost Cutting Chair

The Best “Out-Of-Office” E-Mail Auto-Replies:
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .
2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable …

GUYS!!!! WAT A LOVELY AND INTELLIGENT LOVE LETTER.:-)
An Intelligent Lover’s Love Letter
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl….
However, the girl’s father does not like him and want them to stop their
relationship…… and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..
he knows that the girl’s father will definitely read this letter..
1. The great love that I have for you
2. is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3. grows every day. When I see you,
4. I do not even like your face;
5. the one thing that …

For those who r Married as well as for those who wil get Married…..
Sharing a few thoughts for Would – be grooms
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 – Never compare your mamma’s cooking with your wife’s! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom’s cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience… ..don’t expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad’s!!! So shshshhhhh… ..!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out …

During a visit to the mental hospital, one newspaper reporter asked the Director ‘How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted
to the hospital.’
‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.’

It’s an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.
A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke
up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.
The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats …

Men Are Just Happier People–
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and …